To Every Man; Be her HERO

I’ve thought a bit about the topic I am going to embark on writing, deliberating whether to write or not, will it be misconstrued as a rant or projected to a higher level and understood as the epistle from the heart that aspires to create change. 

I’ve looked around and found a gaping hole, a wound of silence, particularly as it reverberated through our households, destroyed communities and lacerated the most weak, our children. 

I cannot sit back and say nothing, otherwise I am right alongside the perpetrators, allowing them to have the freedom to proliferate their terrible deeds and twisted strategies. 

Ok, I started off strong and harsh. You must be thinking, get to the point. Well, the point was to get your attention, so I’ve got you there!

You will understand soon enough what I mean. 

It is a given that in most communities, cultures and countries, men are the head of the households. They are supposed to look after the well being of their families on every level, material, emotional and spiritual. They are supposed to be at the front lines heading off attacks and setting captives free. Warriors. Liberators. 

Looking around, and perhaps it is only my experience, but I would say that more women than men tend to care about the events transpiring around them and actually trying to do something. Women try so hard to uphold the role of men, the cultural leadership gap that they are leaving behind. 

And yet, as the weaker sex we try and try but it doesn’t seem to catch on so much with the men. 
Why? 

For example, lets talk about sexual trafficking. I am so fed up with this topic. It pains me and makes me so mad. I want to save all those girls (and boys!) from lives they were never meant to have. I am not going to blame the men, all men for this woeful phenomena, this degrading exploitation. I won’t. But what I want to start talking about is this: Why is it that at every presentation we tend to only discuss getting ladies out of their predicament, which is almost impossible. We know the sad statistics that most don’t ever get out or if they do, they tend to go back to the life they know. Why are we not talking about the preventative measures? 

Before you start getting upset, I do know indeed that in a whole lot of places around the world, the women themselves groom the girls for this life. They may even sell their children and consider that normal and expected. 

But if the men are indeed the stronger sex, the ones that meant to be heads of something, why are they not heading this movement towards preventing these atrocities? Come on, Ashton Kutcher cannot do this alone. He needs, you, everyday Joe. 

Ok, you got me, princess. What am I meant to do? It is flipping simple, really. Raise good men. 
You are an example to the young men and children around you. They will imitate you because for the little ones you are their hero. So be the true hero, indeed. 

Love your wife. Love your children. Teach your little sons to look after their little sisters and other little girls. Tell them to protect the ladies and always have their back. Show the boys that the ladies around you are not property or only seen as sexual objects but as wonderful, effervescent creations of God that must be treated kindly, with respect and humility. Adoration. Teach them the value of love and compassion. All the very strong values that will truly make a man a MAN. 

Don’t get it twisted that your sentimental outpouring will make you less manly. I’ve not found anything sexier than a kind man. Nothing manlier than a compassionate man. 

That’s the kind of man I always want to have around. 

Be the HERO to HER. That’s what it’s all about. Share this message! 

Where are you hiding brave men? Our little girls and women are crying out for change, for hope, for a savior. And yes, they do need Jesus, but why can’t you be His hands here on Earth? 

There needs to be a move of strong men, brave men, HEROES. This may not be you, but your sons could be! Teach them while they are young and they will not stray from that path. I am desperate to see a preventative strategy in this worldwide problem and not just a band aid, with our sorry boohoos. 

Maya playing with a little boy at the park. It was his car and he was kindly sharing!

If you feel like you want to give back in some way, please visit https://maternalmovement.com/nonprofits-we-love/.

Have a look at the stories of Rebekah Griffin. She’s dedicated years of her life to fighting the good fight, saving the ladies from the lives and lies of sexual trafficking. 

Every little bit counts. Every little word counts. 
Keep spreading the word and you will be My HERO.

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De-cluttering

As a mom, do you ever look around and think how in the world can you ever keep a tidy and organized home?  Well, it all starts with extra clutter and having items you either don’t use, have forgotten about, or just plainly do not like anymore.  Perhaps your home is not too small for your ever growing family, but perhaps you just have too much stuff!

I get it, you may have sentimental memories tied to specific items or you may be fighting the fear that once you get rid of it you may suddenly need it.  But in reality if you haven’t used it for some time, you were doing just fine without it.

I realized that I didn’t really need that much clothes when I moved into an apartment that did not have big closets and I needed to purge and downsize on my wardrobe.  But guess what?  I didn’t even miss the items I donated or gave away to Salvation Army.  In fact, it felt liberating.  I was free from the weight of finding space or wondering how I will fit my newly purchased items.  All the clothes I wore and enjoyed on a consistent basis were neatly hung up or folded away.   Periodically I continue to review my clothes and donate or gift the clothing that I’m no longer wearing.  Same goes for your husband’s and childrens’ closets…you don’t realize how much space you can free up just by keeping a tidy closet.  All of a sudden you have extra storage space for suitcases, bed linens, or pillows.

You know what else we have too much of?  Paper.  We tend to hold on to old magazines, paid bills, unopened mail, and books we haven’t opened in 10 years.  And sadly we don’t often recycle these items.  Not that we don’t want to, but just the fact that we do not have the facilities to do that.  Most of these items end up in the land fill.  I came to the conclusion for myself to take advantage of the ability to receive and pay bills online, the freedom to read books and articles digitally, and to use my downtime to go through my mail.  Donate the children’s books your child has long grown out of to your local library, and use your husband’s stacked up newspapers as kindling to start that bonfire in your back yard.

Our basements, attics, and garages are guilty of hoarding useless junk or just plain excess.  These additional spaces are fantastic when it comes to containing your children’s toys that they are still playing with, exercise equipment, or other necessary items.  So use them wisely to free up the living space within your home.  Hold a tag sale, donate, or make some extra cash by selling on Ebay everything you do not want or have doubles and triples of.  Often times when moving from one house to another, we don’t even really unpack all the way.  The intent to go through it all at a later date may come and go and you realize you have already purchased a second toaster or coffeemaker.

Get rid of anything that’s broken and that you have no intention of fixing, or if the repair will cost more than it’s worth.  Some examples are worn out shoes, CD’s that just won’t play, and outdated electronic gadgets.  Technology changes so quickly today, that you are better off buying a new version of it rather than trying to fix it.

It’s hard to downsize, simplify, or eliminate when our mindsets have been set on acquiring, purchasing, and just plain more, more, and more.   The media, culture, and modern way of life unfortunately can lead to the clutter in our homes.  Try simplifying and paring it down to basics, which will allow you to focus on quality time with your family, rather than cleaning, managing, and organizing the various messes.

 

Be Inspired

I have a painting hanging in my bedroom… it’s the one that I created in a group Paint Nite event.  The painting is of a peacock, with its rich array of glamorous plumes.  I definitely followed the step by step instructions, but if you look closely you will see where I was led astray.  Where I took my inspiration into my own hands.

The white speckles around the neckline became delicate strands of pearls.  The tail transformed into an elegant ball gown… and the head crest… like the feathers in a fine lady’s bonnet.  As I looked around the room, not one was exactly the same.  Even though we all had the same instructor and followed the same instructions, each painting was unique.  Each painting was inspired by its creator.

I was reminded that we all look through different colored lenses.  We all have different styles and preferences.  And we all interpret our surroundings in tune with our past experiences.  One peacock on my left had only purple feathers.  The one on the right had streaks of green and blue, and still another had sneaked in some red.

As for me, I chose to interpret the iridescent plumage as reflecting all the colors in the rainbow.  I saw yellow, pink, and orange.  Why should I limit myself?  I couldn’t feel more happier as I vigorously made my way through all the paints in the palette.  I couldn’t feel more inspired as my vision revealed itself.

There’s something special about having done it with your own hands, having put in a degree of effort into it.  It may be shells picked up along the ocean shore that we later display.  Or the flowers we arrange in vases, freshly picked from our gardens.  We toil in hopes that we will be rewarded with vibrant blooms.  It’s true, a bouquet from your garden is more satisfying than the one you pick up at the grocery store.

Less and less we rely upon our own skills and talents to design fashion, build furniture, plant flowers, and paint paintings.  Someone else is doing it for us.  All we need can be bought with a simple click of the mouse.  Perhaps we are stuck in the world of consumerism and take the easy way out.  We consume, but do not create.  Maybe we need to embrace simplicity and get engaged with our surroundings.  Maybe we just need to get inspired.

 

 

 

Just Listen to Your Body

I’ve known this before but I’ve really internalized this concept only in the last few days. My body talks.

It really does.

A couple of weeks ago, I’ve set out to do my usual HIIT exercises, which work tremendously, by the way. As I was about to whip them out, my body rebelled.

Something that I tend to enjoy so much became so very violently unpleasant to me.

All out of the blue, my body simply screamed, STOP!

I stood there, knowing I couldn’t start.

It was a sudden surprise to me.

After a few minutes, I decided to go along with this temperamental state and asked myself, what would I prefer to do instead? I could hear my inner self telling me that what I truly needed at that moment was a session on the elliptical with my most favorite music.

I haven’t been on the elliptical for many months.

That week, most of my sessions ended up being on the elliptical, my music full blast.

The next week, I started to get the sense that my body was trying to tell me something else.  So I quieted myself and listened.

It quietly told me that it would be very happy with a few yoga sessions.

So I did just that.

And then I started mixing them up.

And here I am. I still no longer have any desire to go back to HIIT, but I have a sense that soon I will be adding something else to my repertoire.

What have I learned? That my body needs a break and variety? Yes, that’s true.

But there’s a much bigger picture here that is hiding behind the veil.

There’s a much deeper mystery within this quite typical story.

I decided to examine my weeks and began to notice a very specific correlation between my mental state and the preferred method of exercise.

So what happened? What happened was this, the day when out of the blue, I could no longer bring myself to perform my favorite exercises, my mind and emotions were so exhausted and so spent that I had no energy left that I could pour out from within.  I no could no longer go all out, nor focus on the steps to be taken. I had a lack within my spirit, soul and body.

Why was I attracted to the elliptical? Because in doing a repetitive task, I didn’t have to think. I could just be. Why did I want my favorite music? Simply because it made me happy.My lack needed to be filled, in this case, exhaustion of the mind and emotion needed to be taken care of. My mind could relax and my emotions could become stimulated to ring out a higher frequency which would bring me out of the doldrums.

After a week or so of this particular treatment, I was finally able to do yoga.

I couldn’t do it before because I was so unprepared to be left with my thoughts, I didn’t want to face them.

During the turbulent, emotional time, the elliptical served its purpose, held me through as I rebuilt myself.

As I became stronger, and mentally fit, I began to crave yoga. I was no longer scared of my thoughts. I actually craved the slowing down and settling into a challenging pose.

I was able to work through my emotions.

Our bodies are so incredible!

They are a wonderful portrayal of what is happening on the inside. They channel the inner being.

I’ve written before how I’ve lost weight simply because I started seeing myself differently and going after my dreams. An inner weight was lifted, which resulted in a clear, physical manifestation.

Listen to your body. Go with it, not against it. It has a wisdom of the ages, an imprint of God.

I am so glad that I did what I did.

My physical expression and the proper response to my body’s needs accelerated the healing of my inner self.

If I rebelled, I don’t think I would be in this space of contentment.

Your body is your friend. It is not the enemy. It loves you. It wants to help you heal, to experience life on an optimum level.

Learn to get along. Treat yourself kindly.

Love your body.  And if you cannot do that just yet, learn to respect what it has done for you already.

 

~~~ By Olga Pyshnyak-Lawrence, a visionary with a mission