Back to Basics: Your Home, A Safe Haven

We speak of refugees as if they are so far away, in a different land, somewhere exotic, with a plight that is uncommon, untouched by so many around us, far removed from our everyday reality. In fact, that is not true.

Many of our family and friends are floundering around, searching far and wide for refuge, a place where they may rest their souls and replenish their spirit. Wind down their bodies after a long day.

You may be wondering why I seem to be ignoring the obvious; where is their home? Why am I not mentioning their home? Don’t we all, for the most part, have a place we can call our own?

We don’t.

Let’s start at the beginning. Remember your childhood? I hope it was a good one, filled with memories you long to relive, with a warm home and parents, warmer still. As for me, I’d rather stay in the present.

When you got home from school, did you feel a sigh of relief as you crossed the threshold of your household? Did you think, great, now I can be me! This is a place where I am accepted and loved unconditionally. I don’t have to pretend. I don’t have to act. I don’t have to hide. I can simply, live… and thrive… Did you feel that fuzzy feeling? I hope you did. Most children don’t.

We are taught that we aren’t enough, that we must be someone else to be accepted and appreciated… to belong. We must be fast enough. Quick enough. Pretty enough. Compared to Billy next door and Susan on the other side of the street.

And off we go through life, lacking something, constantly searching and questing for that beautiful feeling of belonging. Discredited within our own authenticity.

How about now? As an adult, do you feel that your home is a place of rest, your day’s destination where you know you can completely let go and abandon yourself to yourself, knowing full well that you are accepted and allowed to be you?


Writing in bed with my favorite water bottle, drinking hot, rose petal tea. 

If not, WHERE do you find your haven? Are you filling that longing with something else? Are you ignoring the fact that not all is well with your soul, that some things must be set right in your life?

And if you are a parent, WHAT are you doing to MAKE SURE that your children can be liberated from the constraints of the world when they are home? Is it a priority for you to make them the delight of your eye, no matter what? Do they feel wanted? Do they feel they belong?

Let’s not repeat the patterns of the past, veiled in drudgery and lack of understanding.

The human race has time and time again proved that we can survive anything, but must we? We can be strong and carry on and put up a brave face, but should we?

Why can’t we just allow ourselves to express this basic need to belong to someone that values us, where we can be safe to express ourselves, even our silliest, most stupid sides? Why don’t we reciprocate and do the same for the ones that are closest to us?

So often we hide from the ones we love. Fear is a mighty opposition. Fear of a broken heart, misunderstanding, being laughed at.

What are we doing today to make our dwellings, homes where mothers and fathers rest in each other’s embrace, whispering their dreams one to another, with children laughing and playing, chatting, expressing themselves, strengthening their voices, all in a safe space, cocooned within the freedom of love?

How do we protect the boundaries of our havens; places of heaven on Earth? What rules must be put in place to make sure that the world’s intrusions do not permeate your home?

Perhaps a cell phone rule may be a great way to start. Perhaps a ban on video games? Cut down on TV time? Coming home on time?

It is time to start interacting with your husbands, wives, children, pets. Time to cook up a storm. Plant a garden. Kick that dusty ball around. Dance within the halls of your home.

Life is beautiful, together. Life is meaningful, together. Life is filled with abundance that can fill many voids, if we are within a group where we belong.

I am not calling you to fit in within this group. NO. Belong. Stand out. Be truly you. The pretty and the ugly. All of that, held together with love in a place you call home. A place where your heart can rest and confide. Your body may sleep well. Your dreams are the treasured possessions within the walls. Your home, a mighty fortress against the world.

It isn’t hard to thrive in life when you have a place where you can seek shelter, replenish and restore.

Please, seek first to fix your foundations, and then, whatever you do, will be firmly rooted, not swept away by the sea of life.

I call upon the husbands and wives, parents, grandparents, in some cases, even children; the authorities of their respective households, to be LIGHTHOUSES for the ones around you, the ones that matter most. Do not allow them to be lost in the darkness of the void that will never be satisfied, a void created by the world to distract us from what really matters most; LOVE.

Love your homes, respect them and look after them, as a sign of love for the inhabitants.

In all things, do your best.

It is never too late to start a new day. Never too early to put in the effort.

If you want something extraordinary, don’t fool yourself into thinking that your ordinary effort will be enough. If you want something new, don’t keep doing the same old, same old way.

I pray that you may hear the call to do something a bit differently today… tomorrow.

Whatever your dreams may be… it is easier to get them done, where you belong; together.


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