I Will Never Quit. That Word Is Not In My Dictionary

At times, the frustration of getting nowhere is so absurdly strong that we cower at the intense feelings we may have. Rather than process those feelings, we quit, while we are still intact, not realizing that every process of shattering and rebuilding can only make us stronger, more resilient and more beautiful.

The process of growth is never easy and no one said it would ever be easy. Life may not be fair but what is fairly accurate is that a winner never quits and a quitter never wins.

Therefore, I’ve decided to eradicate the option to quit.

I will never quit. That word is not in my dictionary.

At the beginning of this year, a new phase has been unlocked for me. I’ve realized that I am no less than anyone else and having accepted this truth, I’ve concluded that if wonderful things happen to others, then they can also happen to me.

Each morning I would wake up determined to create change, to go after my dreams.

I knew that consistency would get me there. It wasn’t a question of will it, it was a question of when.  Being a mommy entrepreneur, author and motivator, it is never a breeze finding the time to do anything for myself, period. I had to make up my mind to use my time wisely. Whatever free time I had to myself would now have to be allocated to working on my dreams and goals, day in and day out.

Repetitive work but also fulfilling… The great secret about following your dreams is that you are going after something you are meant to do, meaning that most of your actions taken towards getting “there” will be a labor of love. You will enjoy your growing process, your newfound talents and expressive creativity.

The not so great truth is that your path will no doubt be littered with obstacles.

You will hear many Nos. You will hear gazillion excuses from others and yourself. Many will not understand why you do what you do, or set out to do.

Some will think you are too self-righteous, too intimidating, or just simply too much.

I’ve had all those thrown my way. That “too much” that they see in me is a vibrant flame of passion that fires me up and burns all opposition. It adds zest to my life and a pep to my step.

There is nothing wrong with caring too much, too deeply or too passionately. We all need people that can get the job done, that can shake up this world and change the spiritual trajectory of this planet.

The ordinary person will never be able to do that. But what is an ordinary person?

A person that forgot how extraordinary he or she is.  So not all is lost.

You are a person that has what it takes. How do I know that? Because you have passion.

Before you stop me right there, let me explain. Yes, we all have passion, be it dormant or expressed, we all have this mysterious ability. It’s just a question of waking it up!

Here are three tips that have worked for me. Once you accept them and make them your own, your life will have no choice but to adjust and steer its course in a more positive direction.

Dreams do come true. You CAN reach your goals.

Each time I hear a NO, I have learned to re-program my brain to receive it as a positive comment.  I’ve told myself that with every no, I will only grow stronger. The people that have overlooked me yesterday will no longer be able to overlook me tomorrow. The first tip is to frequently stir up this affirmation: With every NO I will only get stronger.

Here is the second precious tip. I see myself as the one that has already achieved her dreams and goals. I visualize myself as having already arrived. The ability to do that helps me to not be attached to people and circumstance as my way of “getting there”. I don’t take it personally when people say Yes, and then soon enough they say No. Trust me. I’ve had plenty of those.

And guess what? It’s not you. It really is them. It’s nothing personal.

The third tip is a fabulous lesson I’ve learned that set me free to be me and to keep me moving forward. This is the key lesson that completely eradicated my victim mentality and propensity to quit. I will be forever grateful to the challenges and emotional anguish that led me up to this moment of epiphany; behind every setback is a setup.

This understanding fuels you to use all of your remaining energy, not looking at the problem but looking at the solution. All of a sudden you are in charge, you are not a victim but a productively victorious creation.

This works for me every time. Maybe not exactly at the time of loss or something going far from the way I envisioned, but it will always come to pass. Trust me, you will look back and realize that most of your greatness and opportunities were a result of a mishap, or what you perceived as a mishap.

Now that you are no longer afraid of the dreaded NO, can see yourself as having achieved it all already and free to look for the setups in every setback, you no longer need the word quit.

Why? Because you will never use it. Therefore, just lose it.

 

~by Olga Pyshnyak-Lawrence

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It All Starts with a Small Step

It may be a shaky step, a step without fear or trepidation, an ordinary step, a step of joy, a step of indecision, but a step nevertheless.

A baby makes the first step and no matter how weak or strong that step is, the joy of empowerment is quite obvious!  They did it! If they can do this one step, where will two or three take them? What if we chain the steps together, what will happen then?

And off they go! And here is where the story takes another turn. The baby now can explore and enjoy the new freedom and learn what it means to have a place in the world on another level.  Soon enough, they will run and bike and drive a car, maybe fly a plane.

We all start off as babies, in life and in everything we do. And that’s absolutely normal, to be expected and not to be embarrassed about. Every successful person, believe it or not, had to start off as a baby in their field and then they took steps… And the steps took them everywhere!

There is nothing special about them in comparison to you. The only difference may be is that they took that first step and then continued to add on. Consistency is key.

Persistence in spite of opposing forces is the lifeblood of success.

Look, if they can do it, so can you.

Nothing is impossible.

Any promotion, any endeavor can be obtained and achieved, step at a time.

Before we go any further, I want you to internalize this truth though: Success at the expense of health and family is not real success.  As long as you have these parameters in line, you’ve got balance. Keep this truth in mind, often, and make sure that this part of the equation is always satisfied. If they fall short, you will never enjoy your success the way you hoped you would. Cars and bikes, travel and recognition will not keep you warm at night nor will it drive you crazy with crayon marks all over your walls.

If you have your health (physical, emotional, spiritual) and your family balanced, you are already wealthy and your steps may be less fickle, less wobbly because you have the self-confidence and the support of your family.

Why am I bringing this up in a piece that is meant to inspire you to achieve incredible success, be it financial, recognition or on a physical plane such as running marathons?

Because I so strongly believe that if you take the right steps, consistent and persistent steps, you will get there. Of that, I am certain.

Our dreams are there for a reason. Our talents are ours for a reason as well. Why?

Because they are meant to be ours, to be enjoyed, employed, and achieved.

It is very simple. Once we take the simplicity out of success, forget it. That’s when it gets complicated.

You are reading this piece and that tells me so much. Enough for me to believe in you and that is why I care enough to warn you.

So let’s go back to the small step that I take every single day that sets me up for grander steps. I make my coffee. Fuss around with my kiddos. Pray. Then I take my first sip. That’s the trigger point for me. I am settling down to business (as much as I possibly can in spite of controlled chaos around me).

My first step each day is my sip of coffee. Then I get out my laptop or phone, whichever is easier to use at that moment.

I know that once I take out my “power” tools, I better be getting my head in the game. And even if I don’t feel like it, I still do it. Because I believe that every step I take in the direction of my dreams, it counts.

What makes a person successful? Their ability to believe that every step they make will bring them closer to the culmination point, in spite of opposition, in spite of others’ disbelief, despite the lack of reward.

There is a quote that I read in school, many years ago, that will stay with me for life.

“Failure is 100% guaranteed if you do nothing.”   Then do something! Each step you take will increase your chance of success. I think it is worth trying at least!

But try it for a month. Make a game out of it. Each day, take small steps, or if you can, big steps when you feel comfortable. Visualize yourself moving closer and closer. Feel the destination. See it, taste it, enjoy it. It can surely be yours.

Nothing is out of your reach. Nothing is too high up, or too far out. If that was the case, we wouldn’t be flying today, or enjoying our sweet little laptops.

If it is out there, it can be yours. If it is just an idea, it can materialize. All that we see around us was once an idea and now, an idea manifested.

 

Go for that small step. Then take a next one.

You never know, you might just… like it.

 

by Olga Pyshnyak-Lawrence

Back to Basics: Good Food, a Lifestyle

Open up a magazine. Pick up a health book. Diet book. Watch a documentary. Everyone has an opinion of what is Good Food.

Whatever worked for some is now touted as the next best thing. A must do for you, too. Better jump on this quick or you are missing out on something that has the ability to transform your mind, body and life.

Couldn’t be further from the truth.

And so we keep jumping on the next craze and then the craze after that one… Our bodies crying out for a consistency or just some relative peace. They want us to feel comfortable within them just like we do. And yet, we listen to an external force, bathing in an external pool of knowledge, completely ignoring our own. Ignoring the voice inside us that knows exactly what is right for us.

Let’s go back to basics of how this relates to your life. To your health and mind’s wealth.

Whatever is good for me, is not necessarily the right choice for you. We are all made differently. With different likes and hormonal signatures. What leaves me full of energy may leave you heavy and depleted… or too light, without any staying power to keep you through the day.

It is easy to judge others based on the diet we are following at the moment. Self-righteousness is never pretty. And yet, somehow we seem to inundate our every sphere of existence with the same illness that plagues religion. Creating a barrier, a separating force between each other. Instead of coming together in love, a force of unity and empowernment, construction, not destruction.

Why not, instead, try something unusual in this day and age? Why not, every one of us, try a lifestyle of eating where we eat what’s good for US? For the individual, and feel great about it?

Many will be worried at this moment, frightened to be set afloat on this boundary-less journey, so let me devise some parameters for you.  We all know specific guideliness such as too much sugar is bad. Processed foods are not the prime choice. Chemicals in our food tend to affect our own body chemistry as well. Let’s not be a slave to those suckers.

Choose a set of truths you are comfortable with and go with that framework for now, feeling free to adjust them later.

We all know that butter came back as that wild card, having been renegaded to the terrorist of our health, now is fondly accepted as a comfort to our body, and a stabilizing rock, for some, to their mental health.

Just because someone said that it is bad, doesn’t mean it truly is. The only true constant in science, which they prove with a frantic consistency, is that science is never sure of anything. Every few minutes something is proved right and then, look around the corner, yep, disproved yet again. Crazy.

So what are you to do? Press into your body and mind. Get to know those very close companions of yours. Ask yourself before putting anything into your body, is this good for me? Will I feel strong, capable, healthy, empowered, creative, etc., after I consume this item? Will it add to my life or will it take it away?

For us Christians, it is easy. Time to make a close acquaintance with the Holy Spirit that dwells within us. Inquire of the Spirit, and pray to God to know and learn what works for you and what would bring life and abundance to your personal experience. Soon enough, you will be best friends!

As for me, I am done with living a structured dietary life.

If I feel like skipping breakfast, I will.

If I feel like eating a smoothie for dinner, I will.

If I feel like fasting on water or juice, I will.

Who are you to judge me? Are you the authority on my life? Nope.

I have more wisdom in what’s right for me than any of the leading bodies of knowledge put together. I do learn from them and accept ideas that work for me, but I have the final say.

The problems that arise are caused by your own disconnect from who you are and what you need and then having the necessary follow-through. Don’t ever blame others. You are not a victim.

I will eat fruit and not be afraid of the sugar. I will eat carbs, but only the carbs that are good for me. I will enjoy fats, but only the fats that are friends, not foe. I will be disciplined, but on occassion, I will indulge with a full heart.

God loves the feasts, does He not? Who am I to say anything contrary to that great institution?

This is a brand new year for, perhaps, a brand new you, a brand new life. You have the power to be in control more than you will ever realize.

Take back your power. Take back your life.

 

Capability In Movement Is A Choice

As mothers, parents, we are always moving. We sit, stand, walk, run (sprint?), lift, carry, etc., ALL DAY LONG. To say we are not physically active would be absurd, we are constantly active. This ebbs and flows with the season of life and age of our children, but in the baby/toddler years… it is definitely true. We are movers. As such, we often don’t 1) give ourselves credit for any activity or capability we have and focus instead on how we look or feel about ourselves, and 2) we often don’t pay attention to the incorrect or inefficient ways in which we move that may be leading to back pain/neck pain/shoulder tightness/hip discomfort/etc. For now I am going to skip over that first one, we will dig deeper into that in another post. Back to number 2, so you have mommy pains? Well, you did grow a baby with your body. Then you brought that baby into the world, in whatever fashion got you both safely to the other side. CONGRATS!!! If you don’t already view that as training for and competing in an IronMan Triathlon, consider this your permission to do so. Let NO ONE, absolutely NO ONE, attempt to tell you otherwise. Now, unless you did continue being very active and engaged with physical activity that promoted strength, stability, and (safe) mobility… you are probably experiencing some physical changes in capability and function. This is completely normal, it is your body’s new normal. It should not be viewed as a problem, but a lesson. Get to know this new magnificent body, embrace the strengths and weaknesses. See the capability that remains, and the possibility for what more can be achieved.

Ok, we have addressed the fact that things may be different for you physically, now how do we get you back to a place of physical capability that you WANT to be at? In the beginning days it’s not about that, sleep, eating, and bonding with baby are all you should be focused on. That beautiful, strong, soft and comfortable mommy body is exactly what that amazing baby of yours needs. Love it. Take care of it. Don’t diet, eat real foods. Don’t fret about numbers on a scale, go for relaxing walks with that new bundle and your spouse/family member/best friend. Pay attention to any little kinks that may arise. Get a massage, stretch, move. Explore any new movements you find yourself doing. Do you gaze lovingly down at that new little nursling while you feed him/her? Every parent does. Is your neck stiff? Try a few neck rotations, don’t stay in one position for too long, lean back in that recliner to allow you to look more to the side and less down. How is that back holding up from all that carrying? Do you have a carrier? If not, consider getting one that evenly distributes your child’s weight across your shoulders and back… we lived in an Ergo Sport (I am very short, it’s the only one that fit), and a ring sling. How about lifting? This one is tricky. When they are little we often scoop them up to bring them close. But as babies get bigger we tend to use our hands more. Do you lower your center of gravity and lift closer to you? Do you find yourself using your arms more than your legs? Do you already have “mommy thumb”? Do your hands and wrists ache/throb? The video (Mom Lifts) is an example of this movement, the right and wrong version. Watch how my wrist moves more when I stay upright, versus lowering my body and using my legs… those big, strong muscles we all have… to lift those heavier growing loads. Is lowering difficult because your hips are tight? Do you find yourself limited by lacking ankle mobility? These are all areas you can easily work on at home with just a few minutes a day of movement.

That’s it. Capability is a choice. Your choice. We all start with it, and we can choose to grow or remain stagnant. You already chose to grow in a big way, you chose to become a parent. Even if you did not physically grow your child, you grew your ability to love and care for another human. You sacrifice sleep and time to care for this little human. We make these choices every day. It is time we choose to grow our physical capability. It is time we choose to be healthy, to be active, to be ready for whatever those fast-moving children throw our ways. Because, I don’t know about you, but I hope to be chasing after my grandkids one day. I am willing to bet that you are too.

**Over the next few weeks I will begin posting clips of tips and movements to address other areas of movement often needing work. If you’re not sure you are getting them, or would like more direction, send me a message. **

Jessica Groves-Chapman

~ Superwoman-in-training

 

I AM Enough

I am enough as I prepare breakfast. I am enough when I walk down the street as my toddler pedals her tricycle. I am enough when I cannot finish my exercise video because my child woke up early from her nap, crying…

I am enough as I prepare lunch. I am enough as I do the cleaning.

I am enough when I read to my child a book or two or more or less… or play with her on the playground.

I am enough as I prepare dinner, put my child to bed and struggle to fit in a day of friendship with my husband in a few hours before we fall asleep, ready to repeat another day.

I am enough. In between the routine and priceless moments of my day, I carve out time for my dreams, minutes at a time, sometimes, if I’m lucky, an hour.

I AM Enough. I will not settle for less, if possible, will settle only for more. I am priceless just because I AM an expression of God, worthy of love and admiration.

Everything I do, I do with a spirit of excellence, and then I release the outcome.

I don’t need to struggle to prove to anyone how fabulous I am, that I am a great mother.

I am perfect in my child’s eyes, because I love her with all of my heart. I promise to try each day, for her, to be the mother she believes I am.

I am beautiful. I don’t need to prove that to my husband. I am lovable, for my hands have touched every corner of my house and his life with affection, respect and admiration. I don’t need to be someone else as I open up, vulnerable, ready to give and receive and learn together.

WE are enough.

I don’t need to prove to my father or mother or sister or brother, neither friend nor foe or anyone in between, that I am worthy. I have no shame in sharing my essence for I am human, but I move closer and closer each day to Godliness because I accept myself and others for who they truly are: worthy and lovable, naturally and powerfully.

I don’t need to perform each day to fit in. I’d rather belong.

I’d rather belong to someone or a group that will accept me for who I am. I don’t need to hide.

I am healed in the truth of love and acceptance, as I give love and acceptance to others.

Every mama out there, you are already a queen, a warrior…

I look at all the women and think, “ Where did we miss the mark? Where and why did we forget about who we truly are? Why are we withholding love from ourselves?”

By withholding love from ourselves, we cannot help but withhold love from others.

Love will set us free. Love will redeem us, heal us and set us apart and up above.

So I chose to LOVE myself and YOU, because I AM Enough.

I do this easily because I don’t have to compete, hide or hurt because I am different.

I celebrate myself and in this way, I can celebrate YOU!

Everything we do, let’s do it well. Don’t compare yourself to others. Leave the outcome to God.

Surrender yourself to peace.

WE are ENOUGH.

 

~Olga Pyshnyak-Lawrence

An Everyday Mama Who Found a Passionate Life