Back to Basics: Nurturing your own greatness

If you don’t plant your seeds and then continuously water them, they will not take root, nor will they ever grow into a beautiful, lively plant. So it is the same with you and your dreams, they must be planted inside of you and then continuously nurtured and looked after, day in and day out.

It may be a solitary job, you being the only gardener of your own greatness, but it can be done as long as you make that strong choice to continue believing  in your own self no matter what may come, no matter the storms that threaten to engulf you in these turbulent waters of life.

Dreams may have to be planted but your greatness has always been there. By nature of being children of God, we are great, period. It doesn’t matter if you realize it or not, nothing can take away your greatness or the potential that comes with it being expressed for the world to see.

I only pray that your greatness doesn’t stay dormant, wake it up! Revive it!

Don’t shun it. Don’t be embarrassed by it.

Don’t be surprised if people don’t understand you, they are usually in the dormant stage, either by choice due to fear or through ignorance. The ones that will resonate with you will be the ones that are also on their own journey of discovery and nurturing the seeds that have been placed within them at birth.

People may laugh at you, but one day you will have the last laugh by virtue of living a life worth living, a life of self-discovery and self-expression. Not many people can claim this… not many people are as brave as you are.

If you have read thus far, then you know this truth- you are not average, never been, never will be. You cannot settle for the things and standards that most of the people succumb to around you.

That is simply not you.

You believe that there is more to life, and there truly is! No greater gift has been bestowed upon you. Life.

What will you do with it? Ultimately, it is all up to you. Will you follow the call and walk the path towards destiny or will you believe the lies that we decided to take as truth and live them out?

Maternal Movement shelf at Hip Vintage and Handmade shop in Athens, GA

You are here on Earth because you were created with purpose, for a purpose. Isn’t it worth it to discover what that calling may be?

Even if no one sees what you see, it doesn’t matter. Perhaps they were never meant to see what you see. They may not understand and believe in your dream because it is not their job to understand and believe in YOUR dream. It is not their calling. Not their destiny.

It takes courage to stand up and give voice to what is on the inside of you. Boldness… Determination.

You will be tested, I guarantee you that. Big matters are not for the faint of heart. Greatness would not be great if it were so easy to express and attain.

On the other hand, look at how many people were able to scale their mountains of influence! If they can do it, so can you. So can I.

They are only special because they were open to believing in the possibility that one day there will be a breakthrough. That one day, the doors would open. That one day, a day that they decide to continue to keep moving, that shift would come.

And one day, it did. They never quit. They had faith in something that wasn’t visible on many days, but one day… became visible and tangible.

I pray that day comes to you sooner rather than later.

In the meantime, keep nurturing your greatness. Protect it from the wild birds and unruly beasts. Create boundaries and a safe space for your greatness to come through.

May those seeds bloom forth, surprising you with their ability to produce abundance. Astonishing you with their beauty, resilience, glory and wealth.

Your greatness is YOUR responsibility. Take hold of it today.

 

 

by Olga Pyshnyak-Lawrence

 

 

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Test YOUR Strength

I am not one, usually, for acknowledging my own accomplishments, but that is one beautiful back bend. From this shot you would think it was easy, effortless even.

You couldn’t be more wrong.

This pose is just a snapshot of a journey in mobility, flexibility, stability, and strength. More importantly, it is about learning to believe in myself again.

When I was young I was in gymnastics. I progressed quickly because I was strong and young and excited to learn. Back walkovers, a back bend that you kick over into standing position, became one of my favorite movements. It made me feel strong, and who doesn’t enjoy flipping over? I loved the butterflies I would get as I arched backwards from a standing position, as your brain tries to prevent you from falling by telling you it’s a bad idea to do this. You shush your silly head and do it anyway, and voila, there you stand. Next to cartwheels and monkey bars, it was a favorite childhood past time.

As I aged it became a little more about seeing if I still had it.

Then I became pregnant. After my first munchkin, I was terrified to try again. Would my body even allow it? It took months and months to get past my fear and discomfort, but I made it. Then kiddo number 2 came along. I gained much more weight with my second child. I also endured some rough pubic symphysis and hip discomfort that had me in PT weekly towards the end of that pregnancy, and even some postpartum. I didn’t even think about a back bend, or anything really. I was frustrated with my body and these new aches and pains. These weaknesses.

Yet while they were indications of weakness, they were not issues that could not be addressed. I needed to build strength in my inner thighs, glutes, and hamstrings again… basically my entire leg complex. I needed to regain flexibility in my spine and hips. I needed to believe in my body. I had just grown a human being and brought her into the world in all her perfection, and all I saw was my body’s weakness. What it lacked. How it was failing me. I see this quite often in mothers. How quickly we forget all that our body can and DID do when growing a human! Of course, healing and regaining strength takes time. It should. It should take a lot of time. I do not know where it is that we lose the ability to appreciate the strengths we already have, or why we quickly forget the amazing feats we have already accomplished. All I know is that it is time to change that. It is time to stop believing that we are not as capable as that little girl and her back walkovers. You are only as strong as you allow yourself to believe.

Strength is not solely based upon force production by muscles. To be truly strong you must be mobile, flexible, and stable both physically and mentally.

Are you ready to test YOUR strength?

Jessica Groves-Chapman

~ Superwoman-in-training

Victory Epistle: A Birth Story

Dear Lady Warrior:

This is a message about victory and power that comes through bringing a life into this world. It is a message about letting go of control and finding peace in the imperfection that is Birth. This is a vision about an emergence of a woman that is strong, passionate and inspired to take her experience and to transform it into the rocket fuel that will propel her into heights unseen, untested but thoroughly attainable because she is fearless.

YOU can do this. How do I know? Because I did it. And if I did it, so can you.

August 11^th, 2015

I wake up approximately 1-2 hours before my water breaks. I cannot sleep. I wonder and run through my mind to test and see if I have any stresses that keep me awake, but I find no undue stress. So I just lie there, experiencing a few cramps, nothing neither frequent nor serious. This is what Braxton Hicks are, I thought. Eventually I decide to get up and visit the restroom.

As I make my attempt to maneuver myself out of the bed, I feel something flow out… and as soon as I finally stand up, the rest just gushes out. My water broke.

5:45am

Oh my God. I was so unprepared even though I’ve read countless accounts and listened to tens of proud mamas. Today was the day I was going to write up my birth plan, pack my bag and cast the mold of my belly.

My soul knew and kept me awake. I was high on expectation without even knowing it. Trust the process, lady!

I reach out to Chris, my husband, and wake him with a dazed voice…

“Chris, my water just broke.”

“Are you sure you didn’t pee yourself?” was his sleepy reply, after which we both jumped into action.

I recalled that a few days ago I was talking to my baby and a strange, very esoteric thought came powerfully through my mind. My baby told me “Mommy, just wait a little more. I am coming soon”. I thought it was my imagination as I had two more weeks to go.

I let my doula know, right after I called my mom in Massachusetts to tell them the glorious news that their granddaughter was going to be born that day.

I was shaking and shaking and couldn’t stop shaking. Chris tried to be helpful but my body was not my own. I ran to the computer to type up the birth plan, hoping that this would help me calm down.

I had a vision of exactly what my birthing experience would be. I am the quintessential type A personality, the teachers’ pet. The one that always sat in the front row, smack dab in the center. I even had a plan for how long it was going to take. Yep, my labor was going to be super comfortable and smooth and would last exactly 8 hours. Precisely. I would labor at home until the last moment and as soon as I was about to pop out the baby, I would run to the hospital on the winds of reason and successful planning and deliver in a seamless execution. I was going to be an example of all that had been done “right”.

Thankfully, I didn’t know that having my water leave me in such a copious amount meant that I didn’t have that layer of protection for me and my baby during the contractions. Labor barely started and something already went wrong.

I typed up the birth plan, printed off three copies. One for us, one for the midwives and one extra, in case someone misplaces one.

My doula arrives and I escort her into the guest room. She tells me to rest but I tell her I will do that as soon as I pack the bags and basically ask her to stay out of the way until I need her. Feeling pretty in control, Chris and I pack the bags.

I rest. We all watch movies. I walk the perimeter of my yard with dogs for company. As I walk, I go deeper and deeper into myself. The day sets behind the horizon … my doula and Chris come out to join me and sip beer. It was a long day. My contractions were still far apart but getting stronger. I started to lose track of time. I sensed the baby wasn’t coming that day.

I remained calm as I listened to the hypnobirthing CDs. I breathed and still felt in control. Chris and I worked on the belly cast to pass the time.

My doula put on the Tens unit on my back to help with the pain. It helped and I eagerly pressed the button whenever I sensed the wave coming upon me. Eventually, my doula suggested I get into the tub. I was afraid that the pain control would not be as great in the water as it was with the Tens unit. To my surprise the water felt amazing!

August 12, 2015

In the wee hours that Wednesday, my doula and I felt that the baby was coming! I was so excited and we contemplated remaining at home to deliver but finally decided to go to the hospital as we still would’ve had to do that after the birth of the baby.

We raced to the hospital. I tried to breathe through the contractions as I felt every bump in the road. Baby was coming. My suffering was almost over. I was glad as I was always told that my pain threshold was very low and that I was nuts to do it naturally. I wanted to show it to the doubters. Look at my prowess!

I was firm in my resolve to do this naturally.

As we walk up to the emergency entrance, at the door we meet a young lady leaning against the wall, who asks me if I am there to give birth. She suggests I get an epidural and then I would feel nothing.

I proudly tell her that no, I was there to do this naturally. NO epidurals!

I recall walking up to the birthing section, stopping to breathe and survive through the contractions… I couldn’t reply, I couldn’t pay attention to anything around me as I had to go deep within myself to make it through. If anyone talked to me …or near me… I felt sick. I couldn’t handle any additional stimulation.

We walked into the room around 2am that Wednesday morning.

After that …time blurred. We expected the baby very shortly as all the signs were there, but she still wouldn’t come. I walked the halls. I danced. Listened to CDs over and over. I did my squats and various other formations. The bath was my preferred method as my doula and Chris took turns to pour water over me…for hours. The contractions raced through my body in a ceaseless, merciless wave after wave…

I was hot and cold… I couldn’t find comfort in the pools of laboring sweat….The Tens unit had long ago lost its effectiveness in the fight against pain.

Surely this was the time, finally, for the baby to come….It was late evening…

My family was extremely worried…two days passed and no baby.

I stuck to my resolve. I WAS going to do this naturally.

I remember leaning against Chris and silently crying against his chest, 2-3 times…telling him I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t go on.

My doula, who had an extensive amount of experience with hundreds of births, many of them high risk, prepared me for the pushing phase as surely this was the transition time.

We allowed the midwives to check on me as we avoided any checks prior due to the risk of infection as it was so long since my water broke.

I longed eagerly to hear the confirmation of that impeding phase…

I almost died when they told me that I was dilated only 5 cm. I was very soft and the baby was low but I just wasn’t opening up. I remember almost crawling up the wall in that bathroom. I contemplated asking for pain relief or a C-section but I was far from being coherent or able to process and then verbalize any thought.

I felt God left me. I was so sure He was going to bless me as a child of God. I trusted Him. After 2 days of intense anticipation, I was still only halfway there.

I told Chris to let my family know that I needed their prayers now more than ever as I tried to hold on…one contraction at a time.

The midwives urged us to speed up the process. They brought out breast pumps, dusted them off from a forgotten corner. Time and time again, they kept pumping me to stimulate the contractions to get stronger… 15 minutes at a time was the prescribed formula as they didn’t want to over stress the body.

I began feeling the prayers as I started recalling various powerful scriptures from the Bible. I was holding on with every last atom of hope and trust as I repeated those verses over and over and over…

1. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
2. Nothing is impossible with God.

I remember either falling asleep or passing out between contractions as I went away to a muted someplace and came back into each contraction. I couldn’t think past that one contraction. To live, as I felt I was dying, I had to focus on the intensity of the present moment. I would collapse under the thought of the future of more contractions coming my way.

I remember thinking this is it for me. I cannot go on. I will expire.

Soon after thinking those thoughts, I heard the voice of my daughter again…in a very mysterious fashion crossing my mind.

She said, “Mommy, I am very sorry. So sorry. I am coming very soon. Just hold on a little more”.

I told her as I cried silently, “Take all the time you need, baby. Mommy is alright”.

We were a team. Throughout all the frequent checks and monitoring, her heart was strong. She reacted to the contractions like a Lioness-with vigor.

August 13, 2015

I felt fear overwhelm me at one point… Fear of complete lack of control. I didn’t know what was coming next and I was scared. So scared.

It was almost a spiritual realization. It was a helpless, cowering sensation as I was turned into water, a form which could take any shape in any container of a circumstance.

I finally felt the overwhelming desire to push at 8cm. It wasn’t something I could control. To try and stop this feeling was like trying to stop a train by your hands, in the middle of the tracks. I had neither energy nor stamina left to attempt.

The midwife team surrounded me in those last hours of my marathon journey. I remember someone urging me not to push but I was helpless in the clenches of this passion. My body writhed and I couldn’t stop it. The fire spread in my nether regions as my baby’s head finally peeked through. I felt her hair and my spirit was renewed. I was finally truly near to my joy.

I was led into the bed for my final pushes. At that final push, I felt that not only did I give birth to my baby but that I also gave birth to myself, a new me… a new era at 2:07am that glorious Thursday morning.

My baby breathed her first breaths as I cried out over and over-“My baby! My baby! My baby!”.

My joy and triumph was palpable and I tasted it and drowned in that sensation. I held my baby as she suckled at my proud breast.

Through the stitching and the uterus being massaged after the birth, I held onto my baby and my Victory.

I knew that moment that we were one, my baby and I…one team. We can go through anything and surpass any expectation. I felt that I could conquer the world… Like an Amazonian princess on top of the mountain. I felt that the elements and nature would be subject to me!

As days passed, I started to revisit my birthing experience, processing it one bit a time. Talking to medics and mothers. I had a lot to process, revisit-chew over and over.

But the conclusion is this:

I found peace in my experience and had forgiven myself and others for not having it my way. I no longer measure my success by my lack of failure. What I called failure I now call resilience.

I am water now, able to flow. I am unbreakable now that I was broken.

What a great start to our journey together, my Maya Sophia and I.

Olga and newborn Maya

We did it. That confidence would carry me through my first days and months of motherhood…sleepless nights and worried mornings, hazy days and tired afternoons. I knew that I would take each hour, one at a time…as I took hold of my contractions, one at a time.

I feel that my roar is now real, able to flex its muscle, primed to change the world…as in fact; I had changed the world already by giving birth to my baby. It is forever changed; future had been forever altered because I gave life.

You will never feel as powerful and proudly amazed at yourself as during those first moments of being a mother. Nothing will ever compare to what you just had done. Nothing. Every accomplishment will pale in comparison. You will feel that you hadn’t lived up to this moment… not truly. Not fully. I promise you that it will all be worth it!

You will be like Chris and I, walking around the shops and restaurants and cafes with chests thrice their size, silly grins on our faces. Loopy on our love for the baby. The aura of the newborn is huge, consuming everything in its stretch.

And yes, I do want another baby.

Sincerely Yours,

Fellow Mother in Arms

 

~Olga Pyshnyak-Lawrence

lover of passionate living and everything purple